• My mom likes to tell me I’m no spring chicken.
• She also says I’m definitely not a blushing blossom anymore.
• She likens me more to a droopy flower. So sad.
• I’m getting older. * sigh *
• I’m prone to * ahem * digestive issues.
• I’m married now. That means I’ve fallen off the Wedding Diet wagon.
• We’re thinking about having kids.
• Then I read this article about nurses and obesity posted on Facebook by my friend, PattiCake. Oh, HELL NO!!!!
• My metabolism is no longer like when I was a 20-something and could drink lard without gaining an inch anywhere.
• Please don’t drink liquid lard. I was totally kidding when I said that.

I know there are no magic fixes. I’m not hunting for the proverbial magic bean that can solve all my problems. I don’t want quick fixes and I don’t want to take the easy way out of getting healthy.

I’m willing to put in the work. I’ve integrated more time in my day for meditation (waking up and thinking “F***!!! I’M GONNA BE LATE!!!” does not count as meditation.

I’ve invested in Yoga and Pilates DVDs. My favorites are from MTV (don’t judge me). Seeing as how the only pose I’ve mastered is Lounging Couch Potato, I’m trying to focus on the mastery of other….more beneficial poses. ^_^

Now that I’ve more or less gotten my spiritual well being started, I’ve started focusing on my physical well being. You know the saying “You are what you eat”. That really got me thinking about detoxing.

I’ve done a crazy detox before with my sister when I was 20. I will never do that again. I think it was pretty dangerous what we had attempted and I don’t know why I ever let her talk me into it!

Now that I’m older and smarter, I’ve looked into healthier ways of detoxing.

Master Cleanse

I’m sure you’ve all heard about The Master Cleanse. I’ve had friends who’ve done it and various famous people have also given it a go.

I, however, will not be joining their ranks. I think it’s pretty dangerous to subject your body to nothing but ascorbic acid, cayenne peppers and sugar in the form of maple syrup. In fact, the only significant source of calories your body will get is from the maple syrup.

I’m thinking this is not a good option for diabetics.

Call me crazy but I’m not about to starve myself of nutrients my body needs.

Photo from themastercleanse.org
I love lemonade.
I don’t love it enough to drink it 24/7 for days on end.
I also don’t love it enough to supplement it with a salt water flush.

I also do not think it’s a good idea to drink a slurry of SALT and water. What the f***? How and why do people think it’s a good idea? Can you imagine what would happen if hypertensive people decided to do this? Good God…

I’m looking to detox, not get thin. Sure, Beyonce was supposed to have gone on the Master Cleanse (aka “The Lemonade Diet”) to slim down for a movie role. I’m glad it worked for her. I do not have a legion of makeup artists and personal trainers to whip my ass into shape to make sure I do not REGAIN all the inches and weight I lost while starving myself for an extended period of time.

This means I will most likely gain all the weight and inches back with a possible added pounds for good measure.

No, thanks. I’ll pass on this one.

Juicing

I’m really open to the idea of replacing one meal a day with fresh juice.

I desperately want a good juicer but our kitchen right now is WAY TOO SMALL to have any more appliances. I can’t wait to move and have a HUGE, state-of-the-art kitchen.

When I was in my early 20′s and I was training for my first (and only) bikini competition, I worked out 6 days a week, 2-3 hours a day. I was extremely militant about what I ate but allowed myself to have a slice of pizza every couple of weeks.

I also juiced my breakfast. It was a not-so-tasty blend of celery, bitter melon, parsley, carrots, bell peppers and spinach. I added a handful of grapes and one small apple just to make the whole thing palatable. Bitter melon is so good for you but tastes so nasty!! * sigh *

I can’t wait to do this again. However, since I don’t have space for a juicer, I will be exploring other means in the following posts.

Two years ago, also on Chinese New Year, Clyde met my family for the first time as my new boyfriend. We were only dating for like….a month at this point.

Fast forward to today, we’re now married!! I’ve always celebrated the new year with family so imagine my befuddlement this year when no one called me to tell me about dinner. I thought that was rather weird but chalked it up to everyone being spread out.

So I called my mom and this was the following conversation :

Me : Mommy, why did you not call me to tell me to come over for dinner today?
Mom : Oh! That’s because you’re not allowed to come home.

WHAT??!!! I thought I heard her wrong so I continued to press the issue.

Me : WHAT??!!! WHAT THE HECK?! What do you mean, “I’m now allowed to come home for dinner”? What are you talking about?

Mom : * sigh * Oh. I forgot to tell you. You are a married woman now which means you have “chu jia” and are not part of this family any more. So you can’t come back for two days. We’ll have dinner with your new husband on Tuesday! Okay, gotta go. Making yummy dinner now.

“Chu Jia” more or less translates to “exited the home” because I’m married. So sad…

So that means I have to make dinner at home. I braved the masses at the local Asian market and managed to barely escape the post-church Korean moms who all had the bright idea of going to the market the same time I did.

In case you ever wondered why you see a bunch of oranges and whole fish served up on Chinese New Year, here’s a really handy list from chinesefood.about.com that explains a lot.

On the menu tonight will be :

- Steamed whole red snapper with ginger, scallions and soy sauce
- Rice cake soup with green onions and noodles
- Sauteed chicken with garlic chives
- boiled eggs
- tangerines

Yum yum!

Happy Lunar New Year!! Here’s to a year of good health, wealth, happiness, good luck and prosperty.

For all you brides out there currently planning your wedding, you feel like the wedding date is that tiny spot of light way out yonder in the distance. At least, that’s how I felt. I felt like the wedding day would never come and that I will be stuck in the strange Purgatory known as Wedding Planning Hell. The question you’re constantly asking yourself and your fiance is “When will this happen??!!”

And then comes your wedding day. It passes by in a huge blur. You find yourself asking yourself, “Is this really happening?”

The day after you say “I do”, you ask the question “Did that really just happen?”

So happy together!
No, really. If you look closely, you can see a happy face in my shoe.

Your wedding day really does pass by in a blur and, before you know it, it’s over.

I’m so glad we splurged on our videographers. They are amazing and we will now have a record of what happened that night.

One of the things I’ve been giving lots of thought to lately is what jewelry I’m going to be wearing on the Big Day. Clyde’s mom, Umma, gave me this CRAZY, INSANE gorgeous pearl bridal set. I swear, the pearl on the ring is big enough to literally take someone’s eye out.

This made me think about my mom. I wanted something that reminds me of my mom on me when I’m walking down that aisle. I spent the entire morning playing with all the jewelry she’s given me. (This is what I do when I’m sad or when I miss my mom. I go straight for my jewelry box.)

“Zettai Kareshi” is a Japanese drama my mom and I LOVE.
We were completely obsessed. It was hilarious.
As a result, this song always makes me think of my mom.
I love this song.

I thought about wearing the phat strand of pearls she gave me when I was in my early 20′s. As much as I love them, they didn’t feel quite right. Ditto with the phat strand of black pearls she gave me a few years later. I adore black pearls…but that didn’t fit what I was looking for either.

My godmother gave me a beautiful cuff bracelet made of seed pearls from Japan when I was a toddler. I think I’m going to wear that too. My godmother can’t make it from Taiwan but when I show her the pictures, I can show her that she was there with me when I said my vows.

I thought about wearing the entire set Umma gave me…but while they are beautiful and beautifully matched (earrings, ring and pendant), I still wanted something that reminded me of my mom too.

And that’s when I knew what I had to wear.

I am definitely not going to look quite as matched as this chick.
I also won’t be sporting these bright ass, red lips either.

On the day of my 27th birthday, I was pulling myself out of the most trying time of my life. I went to my friend’s sushi restaurant to treat myself to one of my favorite meals – sake, sushi and oysters.

I ordered a full dozen of oysters. I remember I was talking to Stephen when I suddenly bit down on something hard.

My immediate thought was “Holy shit….I broke my tooth!! Gah!!!” followed by a totally irrational thought of “I have to swallow it! Then nobody will know I broke my tooth on an oyster!”

Don’t ask. To this day, I have no idea why that made sense to me in that moment.

Luckily, my sanity returned and I was able to rationally think things through. I carefully swallowed the oyster and just as carefully spit out what I thought was a smooth fragment of my tooth.

What I saw in my hand was pearly white but definitely not made of something from my body.

It was a pearl. A slightly pink pearl. That’s right, people. I find precious gems in my mouth when I eat sushi. Good thing I didn’t swallow it, huh? Somehow, being able to say “I poop pearls when I eat oysters” doesn’t sound as good as “I find pearls in my mouth when I eat oysters”.

Back then, I thought of it as tear shaped. Perhaps this was because of my emotional state at the time. However, by the time I flew my ass to Hawaii to show my mom, I came to think of this pearl as egg shaped.

I didn’t want to associate this little miracle with sadness. I instead began associating it with new beginnings, unlimited potential, hope and preciousness. After all, isn’t that what eggs are besides being absolutely delicious and tasty?

The value of my little pearl might not even be what my oysters cost but so what? How many people can say they found a naturally occurring pearl the size of mine when they were eating the oyster that made it? Not many. That’s what makes my pearl so precious to me. No one else might see its value but it is priceless to me.

A few weeks later, I flew to Hawaii and showed my mom. She was astounded and took me to her friend’s jewelry shop. My mom and I spent hours perusing all possible settings for my little egg shaped pearl. In the end, I found something I absolutely loved.

• Oyster shooter with pearl at Crazy Sushi in Alhambra, CA – $1.50

• Round trip airfare to Honolulu, HI from Los Angeles, CA – $450.00
• 14K white gold Plumeria flower pendant with 14K white gold chain for pearl – $200
• Spending time with my mom, making memories with my mom and watching her tell everyone she meets that her daughter is lucky and, like the pearl she found while eating, a gift of nature and one of a kind – priceless

I think this is what I’m going to wear on my wedding day. My jewelry on my wedding day might not be a matched set but I don’t care. It’s my wedding day and I’m going to wear whatever I want however I want.

But, seeing as how this is the only time in my life where I’m going to be wearing a gorgeous wedding dress AND a gorgeous, custom made qipao, I should give some more thought to it.

* sigh *
I remember when my stomach looked like this…when I was 21-24.

The good news is I haven’t gained any weight since the last time I tried my dress on.

The better news is that I’ve lost 10 pounds since February and that my dress zips up a lot more.

The bad news is….well….there isn’t really any because this is pretty good news. However, I’m vain and I want to look friggin’ GOOD!

So here’s what I’m thinking.

• I don’t want to do any crazy yo-yo dieting

• I don’t want to restrict myself too much because then I’ll fall off the wagon and eat fried chicken and buffalo wings until I make myself sick
• I don’t want to know how to count calories because I suck. I also don’t know how to assign calories to food that isn’t labeled
• I want to avoid labeled food as much as possible. This will make counting calories hard.

In addition to this, I want to exercise so that I don’t have flabby arms and a squishy stomach. I’ve been cleared to do yoga (YAAY!!) and some Pilates (YAAAY!!!) so best believe I will be taking advantage of all that I can do.

I took Nutrition when I was in nursing school and I know that nutrition is 90% of maintaining, gaining or losing weight. That means I need to find a weight plan that will work for me.

Clyde and I don’t have the money for me to get those awesome delivered meals. That’s cool because I’m pretty sure I can figure out what to do.

This is my plan.

October

I’m going to try this. “This” is Tim Ferriss’s “4 Hour Body”.

I don’t think it’s an actual diet and is more like guidelines.

I can do that. …in my imagination, that is.

Here’s what I understand of it (I copied and pasted all this from his blog) :

Rule #1: Avoid “white” carbohydrates

I recommend Saturdays as your “Dieters Gone Wild” day. I am allowed to eat whatever I want on Saturdays, and I go out of my way to eat ice cream, Snickers, Take 5, and all of my other vices in excess. I make myself a little sick and don’t want to look at any of it for the rest of the week. Paradoxically, dramatically spiking caloric intake in this way once per week increases fat loss by ensuring that your metabolic rate (thyroid function, etc.) doesn’t downregulate from extended caloric restriction. That’s right: eating pure crap can help you lose fat. Welcome to Utopia.

My cousin, her husband and my sister are doing this now and they are shedding the weight. They’ve been eating like this for the last 3 weeks or so. Not bad.

This doesn’t sound too bad at all. I don’t really like rice, I’m not a huge noodle person, I don’t inhale bushels of spuds….but give up bread???!!! * sigh *

I like the part where I get to eat whatever the hell I want one day of the week. IT IS SOOO ON!

November

If I don’t shed as much fat/weight as I had thought from doing this for 4 weeks, I’m going to do the South Beach Diet again. I did it once almost 7 years ago and it worked great for me. It’s less restrictive than this 4 Hour Body thing because you can have some dairy in the South Beach Diet but, from what I understand, not on the 4 Hour Body.

That sucks. I can’t have milk?! Wtf?! How am I going to drink coffee??? Sadness.

Hm. Maybe I’ll mix the two diets together!!! Yeah, that sounds good. I’m going to follow most of the 4 Hour Body but incorporate dairy into it. We’ll see how this works out.

I’m going to try and write down everything I eat also.

Wish me luck! Maybe I’ll even be brave enough to post before-and-after measurements. Maybe.

This has always been the song I think of whenever I’m about to go to Vegas. I don’t know why. Wait, maybe it has something to do with the lyrics. Let’s take a look.

Drugs

No, thanks…unless, if by “drugs”, you mean the aspirin I’ll be popping while desperately trying to stave off a hangover, then YES PLEASE!! Otherwise, no thanks.

I don’t understand why people do drugs. I really don’t. If they know what that shit does to them when they REALLY need pain meds, then I’m pretty sure most of them would *hopefully* think twice about snorting/smoking/shooting up.

I don’t need random mixtures of household cleaners to make me feel ecstasy. I also don’t relish the idea of frothing at the mouth like a rabid bitch. No, thank you.

I like my nose the way it is so I don’t want to mess it up with cocaine.

I like the way my skin looks (free of track marks) and would like it to stay that way.

Hm….so, in other words, I’m too vain to do drugs. HAA HAA HAA!!!!

Rock and Roll

CHECK!!!! Going to see a bunch of men strip down to their skivvies is just as much of a tradition as boys going to ogle a bunch of boobies. The only difference? The women go crazier. No joke.

Bad Ass Vegas Hoes

I don’t know about the “hoes” part but where the hell else am I supposed to wear my killer CFM stilettos and leopard print dress with the lace inserts??

Just sayin’. Besides, in case you haven’t seen the music videos on YouTube (I’d say MTV but Music TeleVision no longer plays videos, just a lot of really stupid “reality” shows), everyone dresses like a hoe now. What I’ll be wearing will be considered tame in all 50 states.

Late Night Booty Calls

Yeah….there will be none of this going on unless your name is Room Service and you’ve come to bring me and my girlfriends the greasy pizza our drunk asses will be demanding at 4 in the morning. By “greasy pizza”, I mean just that. It’s not a code word for some naughty munkey bizness, people.

Shiny Disco Balls

I opted not to do the whole clubbing thing for the following reasons :

• I do not want to make my beloved girls pay $$$ for f***ing bottle service in a crowded club

• I do not feel like doing my best impersonation of a sardine while trying to dance
• I do not feel like shoving people away from me because they violated my personal space
• I do not feel like being like a stripper pole being molested by a bunch of drunk boys
• I do not feel like dancing with people I don’t know
• I do not feel like turning into BONNIE SMASH at the club

Therefore, I have opted for a chill lounge/bar in a top secret location where it will be SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper for bottle service and where I am being given a bottle of bubbly because I am the bachelorette.

NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT!! I love champagne. I love free champagne.

Know what else will be shiny? The bones catching the glint from the cage lights as I toss them. Say it with me now. HARD SIX!! HARD EIGHT!! GIVE IT TO ME THE HARD WAY!!!! BONNIE NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES FOR HER WEDDING, BITCHES!!!!!

Indeed indeed….
Now to make sure it stays this way.

I gotta make a rule for the girls. No pictures. The goal is to being able to remember all most of the weekend, not throw up in planters, not throw up on people, not throw up.

I also don’t want this weekend to be like Katy Perry’s song “Last Friday Night”.

Time to pack!

Vegas, here I come.

I walked past Ground Zero a few years later when I visited New York City. I read every single name and cried as I stood there. I cry every time I see the footage from that day and whenever I hear the words “Nine Eleven….Never Forget”.

I don’t personally know of anyone who passed away that day, civilian or hero. I don’t have any members of the NYPD, NYFD or any firefighter or police officer in my family.

What I am, however, is a proud Registered Nurse. My sister is also a Registered Nurse. My little brother is a certified EMT and a proud US Navy sailor.

I’m also a proud American.

And the home of the brave.

Imagine my outrage when I read this after staring in disbelief on a status update by a friend on Facebook.

Did I read this right? First responders are not being invited to the ceremony at Ground Zero?

What the fuck??!!

I don’t care if you have a separate ceremony for them elsewhere and at another time. By not having those who survived their fallen brothers and sister stand in their memory and honor is the HUGEST FUCKING SLAP IN THEIR FACES that I can ever imagine.

The families of the victims should definitely be there. President Obama, former President George W. Bush and former Mayor Rudy Guiliani should also be there. And so should the first responders, NYPD and NYFD!

I understand this is probably a logistical nightmare for whomever is planning this event. I’m planning a wedding and that is turning out to be quite the headache so I do NOT envy that person their job.

But make room for those who paid the ultimate price in trying to save the victims.

Make room for those who stand today and wear the same uniforms as those who have fallen.

Make room for those who are here today but who have not forgotten those who gave their life in serving their city and saving lives.

Honor them too by including them in the same ceremony as they stand for those who cannot stand there today as we say as a nation that we will never forget.

Don’t just push them off to the side when they’re not needed and give them a separate ceremony. Include both in the same day if you have to but figure out a way to make it work so that all may be honored and remembered at Ground Zero on September 11th.

I know!!! Maybe have all the surviving firefighters, NYPD and first responders all walk past Ground Zero while carrying a photo of a fallen hero. I think that’s only right and only fair.

Someone get me through to whomever is organizing this thing. I’ll tell them what to do. ~_^

Thanks for all the submissions to my first ever beauty product giveaway. Last month’s featured giveaway was a travel kit from gloTherapeutics gloSpa line.

How cute is this?!

And the winner is….Lydia K.! Yay! Congrats! I hope you enjoy your prize! Let me know how you like it.

Stay tuned for next month’s giveaway!

That’s quite an accomplishment. Not everyone completes basic training and I know he worked really hard. In fact, his division won the most awards and was the only division to earn the highest honors!

I knew I would be really proud of him and I also know I’d probably cry….so I didn’t bother putting on any makeup besides eyeliner. I’m so glad I didn’t put on a full face of makeup because I pretty much cried the entire time.

I’m a little afraid of how the pictures are going to look.

A cartoon rendition of my brother and I.
I had stopped crying at this point.

So what made me cry? A lot of things, actually. You see, I raised my brother from when I was 17-almost 21. He was age 7 when I got him and 11 when I left Hawaii for Los Angeles. During the hour+ long ceremony, I remembered :

• all the good times I had with him

• all the times I chased him around the house trying to make him do his homework
• calling the cab at night to take us home because I was worried about being on the bus with him so late at night (it was 8 p.m. Yes, I’m paranoid)
• waking up in the middle of the night because he had a bad dream
• making up stories to tell him so that he’d go back to sleep (where was Samuel L. Jackson’s “Go The F*ck To Sleep” when I needed it?! Just kidding.)

I remembered all the promises I made to him and I’ve kept them all. I remember starving for 2 weeks and living off the hot dogs and spam musubis from the pool hall I used to work at so that I could save enough money to buy him the Nintendo Color Game Boy with a Pokemon game.

I remembered crying and prying his little arms off of me when I had to go back to Los Angeles. He wouldn’t let go and I tried to make him understand that I was going to LA so that I could make a better life for myself and for him. I promised him then that no matter where I was in the world, I would always come for him whenever he needed me to.

And I’ve kept that promise.

This was the song I used to play him almost every night.
I told him it would bring him sweet dreams.
I also told him it would chase away all the monsters.
I think it’s now one of his favorite songs.

As I watched him march into the stadium last Friday, I was thinking of the little boy who used to clomp around the living room in my combat boots and my BDU (battle dress uniform). I was in Army JROTC in high school and he showed remarkable interest in the military even at that young age. I think he was….3 or 4. He would sit in the floor of my bedroom and listen to me regale him with the stories of Spring Camp (it was a watered down version of a week of boot camp at Schofield Barracks in Hawaii).

He would also want to eat one of the MREs (Meals Ready to Eat. My favorite was spagetti and meatballs. The chicken ala king was NASTY. So was the turkey ala king. Ugh. Yuck….but it tasted pretty damn good when I was starving. Haa haa haa!). Needless to say, he didn’t like the way it tasted back then. Haa haa haa!

When graduation was over and we made our way over to him, I couldn’t stop crying because I was so proud of him and also because I knew that little boy grew up. He wouldn’t be needing my combat boots or my BDUs anymore because now he has his own. The little boy I knew was no longer standing before me because he was now a little man.

I now have a small taste of what every mom feels like when she watches her children grow up. It is a bittersweet feeling. I now know why my mom tells me it doesn’t matter how old I am because I will always be a little girl in her eyes.

I understand now.

To all the Navy recruits who are now full fledged Navy sailors, congratulations to you and yours from this proud Navy sister. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do for us and for our country.

To all the military men and women who serve our country, this proud Navy sister thanks you with all her heart.

One way I’m trying to get my mind off the sweltering weather is by picturing myself somewhere else…anywhere else…. Doesn’t going to a quiet, AIR CONDITIONED spa sound great right now? Sounds like Heaven to me but there’s a slight problem.

I’m on a Wedding Budget. Going to the spa does not fit in the overall plan.

To make myself feel better, I’ve decided to launch the first Booty Grab of the year!

Frizzy2Silky.com has provided me with this month’s Booty Grab. In the spotlight is glotherapeutics’s gloSpa On The Go kit. It includes 1 each of the following:

• 2 oz. moisturizing body wash
• 2 oz. body cream
• 2 oz. sugar body polish
• full size mint balm
• super cute white and pink travel bag to keep all these goodies together

Seriously. How cute is this?!
Click the picture for a larger view.

This is perfect for the beauty queen who’s got people to see, things to do and places to go. As if this isn’t tasty enough, this delectable kit comes in three flavors! If you are the winner, you can have your pick of :

• Green Tea & Jasmine * mmm….I could pretend the bathroom is a spa with this scent…*
• Honey Sugar and Butter * wow…talk about smelling good enough to eat! *
• Anjou Pear and Grapefruit *if you love the sweet aroma of the mellow pear and the zing of citrus, this one’s for you! *

Official rules for this month’s give away can be found here.

Comments here are always welcome but if you want to enter for the prize, you have to comment on the other blog.

Good luck!!