Stimulating The Economy

So there’s this recession thing going on. Not happy for most. I, thankfully, am employed. Amazing what the letters RN after your name can do. In case you don’t know what RN means, it means :

Registered
Nerd.

Just kidding. It means Registered Nurse. This totally means I’m busy being a superhero and saving lives although I’m not the Nurse Jackie kind of nurse. She’s a little too hardcore for me, if you catch my drift. * sniff * sniff * snort * snort * omfg was the powdered Percocet in my powder compact and if it was how did that get in there holy moly guacamole total Epic Fail.

We all know that superheroes are busy doing things like … saving lives and stuff so that leaves us with very little time to do the menial things in life…like laundry. Seriously, what is up with laundry?! I swear those little piles of germ-infested scrubs I leave in the hamper magically hump each other while I sleep because they seem to multiply at a rate that puts even the horniest rabbits to shame. I am utterly convinced they do this to either mess with me or to keep Tide in business. I’m not sure which one it is yet.

Anyway, I was talking with GlowWorm today and I was bitching about how I need a maid to help me keep my sanity at home. He suggested I post an ad.

OMFG, WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA!!!

I totally crafted one because I would be providing jobs for the jobless but I think there’s a slight problem with what I wrote.

Wanted : Seeking grommet to do my bidding. Said bidding includes making coffee, doing my laundry, delivering and picking up dry cleaning, screening calls for any and all crazy people, screening calls for any guy I might’ve mistakenly given out my real number to instead of the fake one I can never remember after having one glass of killer good Scotch too many and any other thing I might think up.

Pay : What?! You pay me, beeyotch!

Yeah…I don’t think that would work. But that’s okay. I have ready made grommets installed. This wonderful app is otherwise known as MyLittleBrother v2.0

I love it.

* All kidding aside and on a serious note, If I could afford to employ someone, I would. Being out of a job is one of the worst feelings in the world…and I don’t wish that upon anyone.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: