Trick Or Treat!

It’s about that time of year when the weather turns colder, the air a little crispier, pumpkin flavored things are taking over menus by storm…and girls are breaking out the costumes for Halloween.  Calling it a “costume” is kind of like saying a MacDonald’s cheeseburger is made of the best Kobe beef there is.

In other words. what most females refer to as a “costume” is really nothing more than scraps of clothing barely keeping it together with a little more than a hope, a prayer…and thread holding on for dear life.  Extra points if you have shreds of lace, sequins and other various bits of bling.  What can I say?  I’m a glitter freak.

My grandmother passed away recently so out of respect for her (and because my aunt told me when my grandpa passed away last year), we’re not supposed to dress up as anything evil, witchy or if it has references to dark creatures.

I guess this means I can’t wear this one.  That’s okay. 
I recycle.  I hear it’s great for the environment.

So that kind of put me in a bit of a jam.  What the hell do I dress up as now?  I ruled out the whole naughty nurse thing because I’m already a nurse by day (SUPERHERO BY NIGHT!!  haa haa haa, just kidding), so I figured this is kind of redundant.  And then I found it!

What better to ring in a new year for me than as the QUEEN OF FRIGGIN HEARTS?!

At least, that’s what I thought.  I ordered a larger size since everyone who bought this was saying that it runs on the waaaay smaller side.  Problem averted by buying bigger!!  Or so I thought.  Imagine my disappointment when I realized that my chest fit (thank you, Mommy, for encoding me with the genes for your boobs and your legs) but the waist and hip parts were too big.  OMFGWTF @#$%(*&@#$!!!!

* sigh *

This is getting way too complicated.  I didn’t want to dress up as a cop again (*yawn*) or as a pink Geisha (been there, done that) so I’m running out of ideas…and fast.

About this time, a little light went off in my head and I searched the darkest corners of my closet before I hit the jackpot.  It was still sitting pretty in the protective plastic.  I took it out, put it on and smiled.  I know what I’m going to be for Halloween this year.

Yup yup.  I’m going as myself.

“What?”, you ask?  “What do you mean?”

Simple.  My name is Bonnie so I’m going as Bonnie and Clyde.  Notice, however, that Clyde is not an accessory that comes with this costume.  That was the reason I never wore it.  I kept hoping that I would finally have a man in my life who could be the Clyde I’ve been looking for.

But you know what?  Staring 30 in the face has taught me a few things.  One of these things is that I don’t need a man to complete my outfit or my life.  Don’t get me wrong.  I would love to have a man share my life with me but putting things on hold simply because he isn’t here yet (the operative word here is “yet”) doesn’t mean I can’t go on with my plans.  He’ll come along when it’s time for him to come along.

Until then, I’m going to be me.  I’m gonna rock the Bonnie and Clyde outfit because I can and I will.

Period.  End of story.

Now I gotta go buy a fedora, some white lace thigh high stockings and those super cute garter thingies.  I can’t wait for this year.  😀


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