It’s Never Just Dinner – The Vegas Edition

It started off innocently enough and that, in and of itself, should’ve set all the warning bells off in apoplectic fashion. You see, with my friends, it’s never Ever EVER “just dinner” or “just hang out for an hour”. Never. That’s usually code for “we’re going balls out and if we go down, we do it Bon Jovi style – in a blaaaaaze of gloooory”.

What’s really going on is we’re just trying to fool ourselves into thinking we’re going to have a chill, quiet night. I’ve learned that “chill” and “quiet” loosely translates into I’ll get home just shy of the sun coming up. Like last night. Omg…

To be completely honest, I wasn’t going to go out at all last night. My girlfriends and I were going to do the unthinkable in Vegas – hang out in our sweet suite. However, having over 50+ of your friends in Vegas to help you celebrate a birthday usually means they won’t accept that as an answer. That would be sacrilegious and against all that Vegas stands for (which would be mind boggling excess and debauchery galore).

We started out quietly enough. Dinner at CPK with my two girlfriends, painting our nails for tonight’s guaranteed insanity and maybe wandering down to the bar in the hotel. Our friends called us to have a drink in their suite and that’s when everything just went downhill.

It Started Off With Just One Drink

One drink in their suite. That’s all it was supposed to be.

Just. One. Drink.

We were all laughing, talking with really good house music thumping from the iPodified sound system. One drink then turned into one last shot…and then Part Two of the night happened at Lavo in The Palazzo.

Just Come Out For An Hour

So how did we willingly and happily end up at a club / lounge? Simple. Mr.Man made a really good point. The table was already taken care of and “Dude, you guys don’t even have to drink! Just come and hang out for an hour. It’ll be fun!”


The interior of Lavo is gorgeous. I felt like I was ensconced in a genie bottle. That’s what all the beautifully shaped chandeliers and other light fixtures throwing off ambient lighting reminded me of. I felt like that Christina Aguilera song “Genie In A Bottle”. All I needed then was someone to rub me the right way. Just kidding.

We somehow ended up closing out the lounge and Mr.Man magically appears with our carriage for Round Three.

Booty Booty Booty Rock’n Everywhere

Somehow Mr.Man magically made this absolutely in-friggin-sane gigantimous mother Party Hummer Limo of all party Hummer limos appear. This thing wasn’t a beast. It was a monstrosity.

He was like “Get in, everyone!” and we were all like “Okay!”. We had no idea where we were going but since Mr.Man is a good friend, we knew we were in good hands. So we had about 15 people in this limo with room to spare.

There was a whole lot of laughing going on, blackmail photos being taken left and right and then I realized the party bus had stopped….in front of a strip bar.

All I’m going to say at this point is that I made it rain green paper, I apparently gained another brother and concert buddy. I also think I’m like catnip for the ladies who dance.

By the time we stumbled out, the sun was coming up. I have no idea how the hell that happened.

That’s how my “quiet” and “chill” night went.

Last night was what we were calling a “practice” night because TONIGHT is the crazy party. We’re going to one of the craziest clubs in Vegas.

We’re rolling 70 people deep.
Two VIP cabanas.
11 bottles of premium alcohol.
Everyone’s in costume.

Pray for Mr.Man, Drifter, GirlyGirl and your’s truly as it’s our combined birthday party.


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