Supermodel, Work! Part Two Of What Victoria’s Secret And I Have In Common

Before I get started with Part Two, here’s Part One.

Omfg, this is one of the hottest songs I’ve heard all year. This song makes me want to get up, find my current favorite CFM shoes (the patent platform 7′ Aldo stiletto) and strut. No wonder they picked this as one of the songs for the 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Excellent choice. Eeeeexxxcellent.

So what exactly do I have in common with the hottest models in the world? Simple. I walked a catwalk with little more than a few scraps of cloth on. It runs in the family.

You see, my mom did runway in Japan when she was young. My mom’s tall for her generation and she is also the beneficiary of the mutant Asian gene known as Really Huge Boobs. I know, I know. It’s weird to talk about your mom that way (believe me….I nearly wanted to vomit when I was typing those words) but hey, I won the genetic lottery because not only do I take after her side for the height, I also inherited the boobs and killer legs. Thank you, Mommy!!

Walking the catwalk never really crossed my mind because…well…I’m a bookworm and the books I read growing up never featured models. In fact, the only reason I know about my mom is because she mentioned it in passing and I saw the photo of her in the Japan show she did.

So how did this all come about? I received an invitation to compete in a swimsuit competition. Two thoughts crossed my mind simutaneously.

1. What do I have to lose?
2. This would make an excellent story to tell my grandkids if I ever decide to have kids.

I had a month to prepare. I threw all my time into working out. 3 hours a day, six days a week for a month. I squeezed in these epic workouts between when I got out of class and before I started work in the bar. I got a lot of funny looks leaving the gym because I’m dressed in skimpy black outfits with a face full of makeup. Maybe this explains all the weird propositions I got walking to my car.


Unfortunately, keeping the hours of a vampire left my even more freakishly paler than I was to begin with but I had no time to work on my tan. Besides, my mutant power is never being able to tan so I was screwed from the get go in that department.

The competition was in San Francisco at a joint called Club Rouge. At first, I was like “uh….what the hell kind of place is this?! It sounds like a brothel or something” but it turned out to be a bar. This was not just my first time in SF but it was going to be my first time competing in something that did not require me to wield weapons of any kind or knuckle guards on my hands.

To say I was paranoid is putting it mildly. I was in Level 4 Freak Out mode. And then I met the girls I was to compete against.

This is what I’m talking about. Figure out which one I am.
It’s hard, huh? Yeah, right.

Dude, I was the only Asian. They were mostly either tall, blond, tanned Amazonian chicks. I got the tall part…and that’s it. Again. What the fuck am I doing here?! Level 5 Freak Out, here I come.

10 Responses to “Supermodel, Work! Part Two Of What Victoria’s Secret And I Have In Common”
    • missbonnified says:

      HEEEY YOOOUU!!!! Are you who I think you are? 😀 If so, spankies!!

      If not, I thank ye kindly. ^_^

      • Lance says:

        As much as I like spankies … I’m not sure if I’m who you think I am, which probably means I’m not 😉

      • missbonnified says:

        Hm….I only know of 2 people with your first name. One was someone I know from another blog….but now that I think of it, his last name started with an “F”. Furuyama? I kind of forgot. The other Lance I knew was from high school…but his last name, while, Japanese, wasn’t yours.

        HhhhHHhmmMMmmm….I guess you’re not who I thought you were but now I know you like spankies. 😀

        How did you find me? I’m curious.

      • Lance says:

        I’ve been reading for quite awhile, actually … or at least long enough that I no longer remember when I started. ‘Course, that could be old age kicking in … 😉

      • missbonnified says:

        Aah haa haa haa!!

        Oooh!!! I remember you! Well, I remember your usericon. You never really commented much on the old blog but you left one when I did the big goodbye.

        I’m honored you migrated with me over to WP. Alooooha!!!

        Omg, I totally miss Hawaii. I just found out McD’s has saimen there!!! WTF?!!! I NEED IT HERE!!!

      • Lance says:

        Aaaah…. the saimin at McD’s isn’t all that as I’m sure you must know! Now, if you lived in the middle of a state of corn/wheat I can see how you might get excited about saimin, but I’m sure you have much, much better options! 😉

        As much as I like saimin, I never go to McD’s to eat it …. and I have one within a 5-second walk of my office. Heh.

        Hope you get to get out here for a vacation =)

      • missbonnified says:

        I can’t imagine McDonald’s saimin being ANYWHERE near comparable as, say….., Ezogiku but c’mon!! It’s the sheer novelty of it! I have really good options in LA but there are some things that are better in Hawaii. So far, saimin is one of them. x)

        As for vacationing back in my island home, I was just there in November! OMG!! DID I TELL YOU THAT I LEARNED HOW TO SURF?!!! IN WAIKIKI????!!!

        I’ve never freaked out so hard in my head before. x)

  1. Lance says:

    Our McD’s has fruit punch, too! 😉

    Heeey…. congrats! You’ve already seen more of the beach than I have in the past five years! (Hence the beer belly and the pasty complexion)

    Where’d you go? Dukes? Why were you freaking out? South side surf shouldn’t be very big in November. =)

    • missbonnified says:

      You know, I saw more beach and sun in the 10 days I was back than I did the entire time I lived in Hawaii. How crazy is that?!

      I was at Waikiki…AAH HAA HAA HAA!! Total tourist action. ^^ I freaked out because I’ve never been surfing and there were people on surfboards barreling down on me and I was paranoid. Holy crap.

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