Adventures Of Snow Bunny Bonnie

I am so addicted to snow sports. Actually, I can’t really say that since I’ve only gone in the snow once but I really Really REALLY liked it!! A lot!! I am so glad I chose to ski because I watched all the new boarders who were learning spend more time on their ass (therefore in my way) than on their board. Poor things. I hoped they rented butt pads.

I, on the other hand, picked up skiing rather quickly although my cousin and my lil bro were much better than me….those bastards. I fell only three times during the first half of the lesson and I managed to make them count by REALLY eating it. The best one was the last time I fell.

I didn’t really get the hang of wedging at that point so I didn’t know that if I made the wedge SMALL, I would go FASTER. I thought all wedges meant you were supposed to be able to stop. I was so wrong. So we were all at the top of the bunny slope and the instructor was getting us to go diagonally across the towards him and wedge into a stop. It was finally my turn.

I pushed myself off, managed to make a TINY wedge because I’m not used to making my legs so wide apart (stop laughing). Anyway, I started to panic once I realized that I wasn’t slowing down because I was going FASTER.

The slight panic quickly blossomed into full flown hysteria once I realized that I was coming up on the instructor really fast. He was so cool. He was trying to be all reassuring, (“Don’t worry, Bonnie. It’s okay. I’ll help you stop. You’re okay”) and was standing facing me with his arms outstretched. I’m guessing he was going to try to kill my speed with his hands of steel, just like Superman! In retrospect, I realized his hands were positioned at chest level. Hm…very interesting. I never thought of boobs as some kind of buffer / bumper / braking mechanism. Hmmm….whatevers, moving on.

Sadly to say, his valiant efforts in getting me come to a halt didn’t work because I had already fallen backwards on my ass. I ended up taking my instructor for a ride on top of me while I was on my back. Sounds kinky, huh? Yeah, the reality was anything but hot steamy Skinemax.

So how did this happen? Simple. When I fell down, his hands of steel weren’t able to find purchase on me because now I’m barreling down the mountain like an upside down turtle and I was aiming straight for his knees. I basically knocked him over onto me and a-sledding we went with me as the sled.

I was laughing the whole way down because it was so funny to me. I only wish someone caught it on camera because I would love to see my spectacular wipe out. Poor ski instructor. He was so nice about it and was telling me HE was sorry he couldn’t get me to stop.

That’s basically it. I didn’t fall anymore after that unless you count getting off the ski lift. I fell every single friggin’ time except ONCE. I hate the ski lift. But besides that, I terrorized the bunny slope. I can’t wait to go again. πŸ˜€

Maybe next time I’ll work up the nerve to go boarding. I’m totally down for that but I’m not sure my delicate ass will be ready for the punishment and bruising. I”m fragile. Ahahahaha!

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