You Spin Me Right Round, Baby.

There is something so hot about a man in a dress shirt and a wife beater underneath. …. * drool * …and tattoos….omfg, tattoos…and if he can rock a baseball cap…and GLASSES!!! Wow, getting hot in here. Okay, I’m back from La La Land now. I swear. Wait, I hope you people aren’t thinking I want Mr.Hottie to be wearing all of the above all at once…that would look kind of weird….or really hot…I haven’t quite figured out which yet. Aaaanyways movin’ on.

So I was working out with my mom when this song came up on my playlist. I love this song but one part in particular stuck out in my head.

And a body built just like a Coke bottle

The reason for this is because I was doing my lazy workout. That means I’m swinging a hula hoop around in my living room while I’m making my mom climb stairs. On my lazy days, I like to alternate the hula hoop, light weights and climbing stairs. I’m tired from chasing my patients around all day (especially if they’re fast little midgets age 5 and under) and wrestling my older patients into submission during dressing changes.

So what does this song, the segment about hula hoops from The Queens Of Comedy and I have in common? Me. That’s what.

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, peep the following clip :

She f*cking cracks me up. Omg…yeah, I don’t think my mom was thinking the same thing Sommore was when she bought me my first hula hoop. I was so good at that damn thing, I won all the hula hoop competitions in elementary school. This was before I moved to Hawaii for high school so don’t give me that “You’re from Hawaii” excuse.

That skill came in handy when I took up Tahitian dancing my senior year in high school. In case you don’t know what Tahitian dancing is, it’s the one where the girls’ hips are moving at supersonic speed and they’re wearing those gigantic grass shirts topped off with a coconut bra. Yeah, that’s right. I wore a grass skirt and coconut bras when I was in Hawaii while dancing hula my senior year.

But that’s not the story I’m telling right now. Right now, I was trying to figure out why I’m good at the hula hoop.

You see, my mom can’t swing it around more than 15 revolutions before it succumbs to gravity and falls down to the ground in defeat. I don’t think my sister can beat her. And yet the only reason why I stop is because it’s been over 30 minutes and I’m getting bored. I also PWN the hula hoop game on the Wii Sports thingy. That’s my favorite game on that disc.

I started trying to figure out why it is I’m the champ and yet the women I most closely resemble in terms of DNA are n00bs. It’s not because they lack rhythm because my mom used to get busted sneaking out of the house to go dancing and my sister isn’t uncoordinated. No…that’s not it.

Maybe it’s their approach to the whole concept of the hula hoop. I think my mom gets in her head that it’s like some kind of epic battle – Woman (Hear Me Roar) vs. Hula Hoop. What I don’t think she understands is that you can’t FIGHT the hoop, you gotta RIDE that rhythm. You have to find that sweet spot where flesh meets circle and just GO with it! Don’t think! Just do it, like Nike says! Less thought, more action!

Hey, that’s what Big Mike was telling me when I was learning how to surf. I think I get it now, Big Mike!! ….I think…

I’ve also decided it’s because of the way I’m built.

I’m not built like your typical Asian female. I’ve heard everything from the super corny “Danger, danger! Deadly curves straight ahead!” to enough comparisons with soda bottles to figure out that I’m curvy. My mom and my sister have more of the classic bean pole body type.

Again, I don’t know why I’m a freak. But what I have decided is that having a waist means it’s somewhere for that hoop to hang out and if it isn’t getting with the program, my hips makes sure that damn thing isn’t going anywhere but round and round.

Wait. My figure wasn’t always like this because I was scrawny as hell when I was growing up….and I STILL rocked that hula hoop.


Okay, I have no good explanation for it except I’m not that girl Blaque was going on about when they sang “She ain’t got the boom like I do”. Haa haa haa!!

I think I shouldn’t drink so much caffeine this late at night.

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  1. […] December 16, 2009 You Spin Me Right Round, Baby. There is something so hot about a man in a dress shirt and a wife beater underneath. …. * […]

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