Family Chaos Game Night :: The Rise And Fall Of The Mafia

In the last post, I made my little brother an offer he couldn’t refuse if he wanted to stay in the game.

I thought the deal was a good one. He still wanted to play, I could help…for a price.


Dude, if I had one of my gigantically gaudy rhinestone cocktail rings on, I think I would’ve made him kiss it. Good thing I didn’t have it with me, huh? Wow, now that I look back, I was REALLY getting into character!

Here was the situation. He landed on a piece of moderately priced property which wouldn’t have been so bad had I not plopped a hotel on that bad boy on my previous turn. He didn’t have the money to pay so I gave him a choice.

1. Give me two properties of my choosing and then he can pay back the remainder of what he owes me with 10% interest.

2. I’ll loan him the money he owes me with 25% interest.

Once he took my deal and we shook on it (I forgot which option he took), the game turned into Mobster Monopoly. The rest of my brothers were scared (they’re really my cousins but we consider ourselves siblings from different parents) because now it was a race to make as much money to neutralize the threat I now represented.

The game went on fast and furious. Several more rounds presented me with a glut of properties, IOUs with astronomical interest and my power grew as I knocked two more cousins. They simply didn’t have any more money or property to pay me so I had no choice but to absorb their assets.

In case you think I’m not playing fair and that I’m a bully, allow me to say that those little punks weren’t without tricks up their sleeves. Whereas I was the designated bartender for the entire trip, those little bastards figured out pretty fast I was more generous if they kept the liquor flowing my way. I forgave a few loans because, hey, I’m a benevolent person and I’m not without pity.

In the end, only three were left standing. Me, my brother and Baby, or as they liked to call it, The Little People Versus Bonnie the Gangster.

I think the only pieces of property left at this point were the creme of the crop, Boardwalk and Park Place. I owned about 85% of the board and the rest were split between my brother and Baby.

Those two were hoping and praying I wouldn’t land on one of them because if I did, it would be Game Over so in a moment born in a flash of desperate hope, they joined forces. They became a corporation with the solitary goal of beating me.

I was so hurt! Seriously. My feelings were bruised.

Baby landed on Boardwalk. With the money I had so generously bestowed upon him BECAUSE I FELT SORRY FOR HIM when I landed on Free Parking, he snapped it up and stuck a hotel on it. He even had the balls to grin at me and high five my brother. Seriously. What a punk. x)

I landed on it. I had enough cash reserves to pay my fee and the game continued but Luck, being the fickle Lady she is, probably also had pity on my two little brothers because she decided to side with them.

I landed on more of their properties. The number of homes and hotels I owned decreased sharply as I had to liquidate them to pay the rent. The tables had turned. The Mafia was going down…and then I landed on Boardwalk again.

That was the final cut. The People had won. The Mafia was forced to flee the Land Of Monopoly but all was not lost for I had instilled the fear of God in them. There has been no mention of playing Monopoly with me again. Haa haa haa! I gracefully accepted defeat while those two were whooping and hollering it up all through the house that they had beaten the Mob. What nerds.

So what have I learned? Three things. Actually, 2 because I already knew how alcohol can adversely affect business transactions.

1. SHOW NO MERCY!!! I will squish and squash them like bugs the next time around…if there ever is a next time.

2. I’m going to jack up their interest to 200%. Aah haa haa!!


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