Cookie Monster

I don’t know why this song makes me want to go into the kitchen and make something to eat. I think it’s all the references to sugar and candy and stuff.

I love to cook. Some people eat to live. I live to eat. That’s because I have Barney the Tapeworm to think about. You know how hard Clyde rocks my socks? He said he’ll never let Barney the Tapeworm get mad at me because I forgot to eat as long as he’s around. ….* dreamy sigh *….

Clyde has a sweet tooth. I know he likes chocolate. He likes milk chocolate. I loooooove dark chocolate. I decided I’m going to bake him cookies!!! I figured I could pick and choose which types of chocolate to use when I make these Double Chocolate Cookies.

Never mind I haven’t baked anything besides beer bread in years. It was fantastic. I just had to add butter and beer to this mix and let it do its thaaang in my oven. I don’t count the lasagna that I make because that’s not like making cookies or whatever. That’s like….layering a ton of fantastic savory goodness on top of each other….kind of like you’re building a really sloppy sandwich. πŸ˜€

I make bomb lasagna. I bomb at making cookies.

The first and last time I ever tried to make cookies from scratch was during high school. It resulted in an Epic Fail. I couldn’t figure out the difference between melted butter and softened butter. I figured butter is butter so I nuked it in the microwave before adding it to the mix.

I dutifully followed the rest of the instructions, plopped little spoonfuls of the batter on a cooking sheet and hopped around my kitchen doing the Victory Dance complete with a war cry because I made cookies from scratch. I was a cookie baker virgin no more!!!

I still remember the name of those cookies. They’re called Snickerdoodles. I picked that recipe because it looked like the easiest one to make.

I was so excited when that damn buzzer thing went off but the excitement quickly turned into puzzlement. How come my cookies didn’t look like the recipe picture? Why was it one big friggin’ Snickerdoodle SHEET the size and shape of my cookie sheet?

I was so sad. 😦

Dude, I can TOTALLY do this!! Now I know not to nuke butter unless the recipe tells me to. Got it.

Wait…what’s this thing about a mixing bowl and a beater? What the hell is that?! You can attach them together? How am I supposed to know when butter looks fluffy??

WHY WON’T THEY JUST LET ME NUKE THE DAMN BUTTER???!!!

* sigh *

I just wanted to make cookies from scratch for Clyde. 😦

….maybe I should just stick to cookie dough mix for now until I figure out what the hell these recipes are telling me to do. I think that’d probably be the safest thing to do. πŸ˜€

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Comments
2 Responses to “Cookie Monster”
  1. lily says:

    i have a really awesome bacon chocolate chip cookie recipe i can give you!! SOOOOOO GOOD. i know it sounds icky but i brought it in to work and even the people who were initially like weird totally loved it.

    i also have a super chocolatey chocolate chip cookie recipe, too. really really rich! i don’t think i have your email but i can copy and paste the recipe on a reply if you want it!

    • Miss Bonnified says:

      OMFG!!! Ooh ooh ooh, can I please have them both?!

      If the email you have when you input your info on this reply thing is the one you use, I’ll email you.

      Thanks, Lily!!!

      One question. Do I need weird instruments that I have no idea how to use for these cookies? πŸ˜€

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