Super Bowl Sunday Was Super Awesomeness

It should be no surprise that I had an awesome Sunday watching the game with Clyde. It was so much fun!

The quick and dirty version of my Legally Blond moments can be found here

You know what makes me super sad? You’d think I’d be better at knowing what the hell’s going on in football. Here’s why :

1. I Like Football Movies

Some of my favorite movies to watch are “Waterboy” with Adam Sandler and “The Longest Yard” with….Adam Sandler again. Huh. What a weird coincidence…and they’re both football movies. Strange…

Anyway. You’d think I would’ve picked up a few things about football from watching those over and over and over and over and over again. Alas, the only things I’ve managed to figure out is that the cross dressing "ladies" in "The Longest Yard" make better cheerleaders than I could dream of being, don’t drink water collected in gross barrels and being in prison does not look like fun.

Luckily, I learned a thing or two in high school besides things like math, science and discovering that mandatory Chapel means I get a scheduled nap every school cycle.

2. And One Time….At Band Camp….

That’s right. Your’s truly was in marching band from sophomore year in high school AAAAALLL the way till the bittersweet end senior year when we almost beat our arch nemesis…only to choke during the 4th quarter. No, I’m not bitter. Not at all….

It would be completely natural to assume I would’ve soaked up the fine details of the sport after watching game after game for so many years. Right? Nope. So wrong. This is all that I know.

– There are 10 yards to a down. Suddenly I find myself singing "Get down, GET DOWN!!! JUNGLE BOOGIE!!".

– You get 4 tries to get a first down.

– If you run one way, that’s good

– If you run the other way, that’s bad

– A touchdown is worth 6 points.

– If you kick it through that U-shaped thingy, that’s worth 1 point

– If you rush the line after a touchdown and somehow miraculously make it through the wall of pure beefcake and muscle, you are rewarded with 2 points and a possible concussion with a side order of miscellaneous bone fractures.

– The quarterback is the guy throwing the ball around

– There are a lot of positions ending with the word "-back". RunningBACK. ForwardBACK. This makes me think the sport is obsessed with asses and all things buttock related. I mean, hell, they wear those vertical and skinny buttpad thingies.

– Something something about a blitzen-fahrfenuegen and a Hail Mary.

– Those blue and yellow stripes that show up on my TV aren’t actually drawn on the field. They’re products of computer graphics. I was under the impression for years that some crazy menehune would scramble all around the field frantically drawing lines and waving some magical wand to make them disappear before my very eyes as soon as the play was over. I’m special.

– Those supersized master blaster sized Pixie Stix contained enough sugar to power me not only through the entire game but probably was the reason why I was so hyper for the rest of the week. I’m pretty sure my mother cursed the day she agreed to let me join a school activity when she saw me literally bouncing off the walls when I came home from a game. It’s fantastic.

You know what made me super happy? The Saints won. I know they’re the underdog and that’s one reason why I wanted them to win so bad. I’m all about the underdog. In addition, what with Katrina and all the tragedies the city has suffered, I really Really REALLY wanted them to win and have something to celebrate.

I guess wishes really do come true. πŸ˜€

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