GI Joe Never Said What The Other Half Was

Riddle me this, Batman.

Maybe I am in a crappy mood because it’s almost midnight, I’m tired, my neighbors have all decided to collectively smoke some crack because they’re busy nailing stuff into the walls as they blast their TVs on at full volume . Meanwhile, the one upstairs is clomping around in wooden clogs or shoes fashioned out of metal while, by the sound of it, is also rearranging their entire apartment.

I’m also feeling like someone punched me in both kidneys and all this makes Bonnie into a walking talking nightmare to behold. Actually, that’s an entirely inaccurate statement because I actually physically appear very calm and the complete antithesis to Angry-And-Annoyed. I so totally rock. Talk about POOOOOKER FAAAACE!!! Lady GaGa doesn’t have sh!t on me right now with the whole pooooker face thing.

…I don’t even know if any of what I just wrote made any sense but I’m hurting just a wee bit too much to properly give a flying crap.

If it weren’t for the fact that I’m on the kind of antibiotics people were stockpiling during the anthrax scare a few years back, I’d be enjoying a nice glass of….something with alcohol in it. Alas, since I want to keep whatever’s left of the liver I do have AND I do not want to add insult to injury on my poor kidney beans (I’m responsible. Uh huh, yessiree, I sure am), I’m sipping on water and wishing it were something else.

So here’s the burninating question that randomly wandered through my mind. Anyone remember when cartoons would have those public service announcements at the end of the show? You know. Like how to not be a bully? How to not talk to strangers? Only you can prevent forest fires?

G.I. Joe would end theirs with “…and knowing is half the battle.”

Well, what’s the other half? If knowing can only take you half way, then what’s the closer to this deal? Taking action? Not taking action? Sit on the fence till the cows come home? WHAT?!

I KNOW my neighbors are awake during retarded hours of the night. I KNOW they like to do minor home improvements that involve power drills, nails and hammers when most sane people are asleep. So now that I know all this, what exactly am I supposed to do this information? Start pounding back on the wall?

I could understand if they’re having crazy hot monkey sex and that’s the source of all the commotion. I’m not a hater because that’s something I can actually wrap my head around. But hanging pictures and shelves at midnight? Repositioning all your heavy furniture because you got sick of the old layout at 2 in the morning? Unless this is part of your “Hey, baybee, I’m your handyman come to fulfill your naughty dirty fantasy” and you’re REALLY getting into character, then sorry. I don’t quite get it.

* sigh *

Maybe I should just sleep on the couch today. It’s usually pretty quiet out there. I am so thankful I threw a fit and got the couch I wanted despite my mom trying to talk me into buying another one with my money. I love my mom.

On that note, I’m dragging myself out of bed and onto my couch. I’m planning on watching either really funny or really messed up.


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