If I Can’t Sleep, Neither Is My Laptop

12:21 a.m.

It’s been almost 20 minutes since my last entry.

I am now convinced there’s a herd of elephants who live upstairs. I am also very sure they are all wrestling right now. At least, that’s what it sounds like down here.

Holy crap…

Here’s another weird observation. Why the hell does my insomnia kick in when the boyfriend is not here? I’m beginning to think he’s like a natural sedative that I’m not sharing with the world. I don’t care if the Care Bears say “sharing is caring”. Right now, I’m not in the mood and besides…they never specified that I had to share EVERYTHING. Take THAT, Care Bears!

Jeezus, I think I’m delirious. This weird combo of super strength meds, getting my ass kicked in Pilates, Pizza Hut’s supreme pizza with spicy BBQ wings and kidney pain is not doing me any favors.

12:24 a.m.

I think the neighbors next to me are either rocking out to some weird pr0n with equally strange 1970’s bow-chika-bow-wow muzac….or they’re playing some first person shooting game. I can’t tell.

Wouldn’t it be weird if that was the premise to a game? You could be all Shaft’d out while pumping some lame pimp full of hot lead loving. Extra points for running away in platforms featuring edible goldfish crackers instead of real goldfish. That’s thinking smart because now instead of having PETA all up on your ass, you have a snack to go when you’re on the run because you’re breaking the law, BREAKING THE LAW!! * cue Beavis and Butthead *

Omg…what the hell am I talking about…

12:27 a.m.

No sounds from the Elephant Herd upstairs. Yes, that’s what I’m calling my upstairs neighbors for the rest of my year long lease at this place. I’m hoping they finally decided to give that thing called SLEEP a test drive. Oh, God….let me be that lucky tonight.

As for the ones next door, I heard drums. Maybe they’re playing Rock Band or something. Ooh….if they are, I wanna play!!! Wait…I hear Korean TV. CRAP!! Fail!

12:53 a.m.

I managed to fall asleep for a blessed 20 minutes before Herd Of Elephants brought me crashing out of it. I think they either dropped the dining room table…or someone fell on their ass. I haven’t figured it out yet.

You don’t understand what a tremendous feat that is. Let me give you a hint. I sleep through hurricanes, earthquakes and basically all known natural disasters that have been thrown my way. This includes crazy snoring of boyfriends past. Talk about bringing the roof down…

I sleep through everything. It is near impossible to wake me up. They woke me up. I’m actually very impressed. And now I’m awake again. This is not fantastic.

1:04 a.m.

Throwing up sucks. …wait…crap…need to find out half life of meds and whether or not this counts as one dose.

I’m never mixing pizza, hot wings, bitter melon, miso marinated fish and some tofu dish thing all together with a chaser of antibiotics ever again. E-V-A-R.

Let this all be a lesson for you people reading this.


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