Things You Can’t Leave Laying Around Me

If you leave these things anywhere near me, I can’t guarantee they’ll be uneaten when you get back. I’m serious.

1. Ruffles Sour Cream And Cheddar chips

You know how their tagline is “Rrrrruffles Have Ridges”? I propose they change that to “Rrrrrruffles have crack”. I managed to resist eating them the entire weekend. I know that if I were to open the bag up, I wouldn’t stop until I had eaten them all.

Against my better judgment, I decided to test out my theory once more this afternoon. Sure enough, I’m now staring down the mostly empty bag. The saddest part of all? I’m debating whether or not I should eat the crumbs I found cowering in the corner of the bag.

I so don’t feel good. I think I should stick to the baked version. It’ll be easier on my waistline the next time I decide to go on a potato snack bender.

2. Kellogg’s Fruit Snacks

You don’t understand my obsession with these things. It’s unholy.

I only allow myself to buy these when I see them being sold in individual packs. So far, the only places I know that carries it are the pharmacy in my doctor’s office and the snack shop where I get recertified for ACLS and PALS. I buy 6 or 8 at a time, no more and no less.

The pharmacist will ask me why I don’t just get the gigantic box at Costco instead because it’s much cheaper. I tell her I avoid doing precisely that because I really will eat the whole box. In one day. And then I’ll make myself sick.

Cats have cat nip. I have fruity crack snacks. It’s all good.

At least with these things, I can tell myself there’s Vitamin C in them so it’s sort of good for me…once you get past all the food coloring and sugar and other ingredients I can’t pronounce. Hey, better than fried potatoes! πŸ˜€


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