Disneyland Fun

Clyde and I decided to go to Disneyland yesterday. Actually, we were supposed to go to Catalina but opted to make it an overnight thing because the ferry times suck on a weekday. We weren’t about to stay home and waste a perfectly AWESOME day so what better way to spend it than at the Happiest Place On Earth?

Exactly.

A delightfully traffic free ride and 2 YEAR LONG PASSES LATER, we’re skipping our way through the park. Okay, so we weren’t exactly skipping but whatever. We were reveling in the fact that the park was relatively empty.

So here’s what I learned about running amok at Disneyland :

Strawberries Are Good. Looking Like One Is Not.

In other words, sunblock is your friend. Not only will it prevent you from first turning the unattractive color of most vegetables/fruits, it will also stop you from peeling like a boiled shrimp a few days later. An added bonus is not getting skin cancer and wrinkles because both of those should be avoided at all costs.

GO ON A WEEKDAY!!!

Oh wait. Most of you people can’t unless you call off sick. I’m not saying you should but all I’m going to say is that we didn’t have to wait longer than 20 minutes per ride (and I’m talking about the most popular ones). For the ones that did take longer (like Indiana Jones), that’s what Fast Pass is for.

We got one of those bad boys and while we “waited” for the ride, we hopped on Haunted Mansion and Pirates. Woooo hooo!!!

When it was our turn to ride Indiana Jones, we presented our passes and breezed by the poor n00bs who were actually dumb enough to wait in line. Haa haa haa!

Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!!

I like most rides at Disneyland. I love a few of them. However, there is one that I strongly advise you not to ride especially if you have small kids.

It’s Snow White’s Scary Adventures.

You’d think I’d be smart enough to avoid something that has the word “Scary” featured prominently in the title. Nope. Not me.

In my defense, it’s friggin’ Disneyland. How f*cking scary can it be?

Let’s just say that I actually jumped back at one part because I was totally not expecting what I saw and the witch is super creepy because she kept trying to make me eat her stupid apple. I DON’T WANT YOUR FREAKING APPLE!!!

The first part of the ride that showed the “happy” scene in the dwarves’ cottage was also one of the most disturbing. I don’t know if the song that tried too hard to be cheery or their cracked out expressions that freaked me out more.

Nothing about that ride made sense. Their poor attempt in getting you to believe that everything ended “happily every after” didn’t work.

Nap Pods

You know Disneyland needs for the adults? NAP PODS!! They could feature it at Tomorrowland or something. Dude, if they actually come up with this (or anything similar to it) and initiate it, I’m gonna demand a portion of their sales.

So this is why I think Disneyland needs Nap Pods or something like it. After 6+ hours of running around the park, Clyde and I were tired. The delicious gumbo and jambalaya at Jazz Kitchen didn’t help either.

We were in dire need of a nap but there was no where we could go! In the end, we ended up riding the Disneyland train thingy around and around for about 2.5 trips before I finally woke up.

Let me tell you, that bench thing is not comfortable. I’m convinced they designed it that way specifically to discourage tired people like me from doing exactly what I did. Too bad for them I can fall asleep virtually anywhere. This is courtesy of boot camp in high school. πŸ˜€

So, yes. Nap pods. Disneyland Parent Company, if you can hear me, I propose you build something like those sleep pod thingies at airports and in Japan so that tired adults like Clyde and I can take a short nap. Just think, we’re two adults who have no overactive kids in tow and we’re drained. Think of the parents!!!

I even know how you can maximize space and increase revenue.

If you’re interested, feel free to hit me up.

Oh yeah. One last thing. Blinged out Minnie Mouse Ears helped me increase my score on the Astro Blaster ride. That’s right. I’m a Planetary Pilot. My score says so. Sweet!!

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