Crochet Pwns Me

I know what you’re thinking. I’m doing what your older auntie does or even what your grandma does. You know what? I think they were on to something because crochet really relaxes me. I think it’s the repetitive movements that lulls me into a state where I just stop thinking.

Don’t get me wrong. I suck. My stitches are uneven and the moments when I’m not in Zen’d Out Land are filled with a lot of bad words. I make up my own stitches and then I can’t replicate them. I essentially am flying blind and not following any pattern known by woman or man.


DO YOU SEE HOW BUMPY THAT $#!T IS?!
I tried so hard to make it good too. πŸ˜₯

I’m trying to make a scarf for my mom because she is the only person I know of on this planet who would think I’m a certified genius for teaching myself how to crochet (with thanks from a book I picked up and rabidly searching videos on YouTube). She is also the only person on Earth who would wear my clumsy first attempts with great pride and relish.

….I can’t make my mom wear that even though I know she would. Therefore, I’m going to start over.

I’m about to unravel hours and hours and HOURS of work. I’m taking apart the entire thing because trying to make something with such a weak foundation is just a recipe for disaster. It’s lumpy, it’s bumpy and the stitching is not consistent. Therefore, when I’m trying to build up the scarf, it’s not going to look good simply because I had no idea what I was doing.


I really like this guy’s tutorial.
My crochet hook worships him.

I don’t feel bad starting over. I would feel bad if I were to keep going. I knew I would be making a bunch of mistakes and I’m not sorry about that. I’m also not sorry about all the time I spent sweating and cursing as I tried to wrestle this ball of yarn into submission like a crazed cat armed with a hook.

I would be sorry if I didn’t accept my inevitable mistakes with grace, realize where I went wrong and picked up my hook again. ….wow….if this doesn’t sound like all the stuff spouted in self help books, then I don’t know what does. Yes, I’ve read self help books. They’re pretty funny.

My mom says I’m one of the most stubborn people she knows. Good thing I don’t know the meaning of “give up”. My mom deserves a decent scarf, dammit.

I’m gonna own this crochet thing because I want to make myself a bad ass blanket. I also want to make my newly preggers friend a baby blanket! That, btw, is how this whole obsession with crochet started.

I figured her baby blanket will be done right around the time she gives birth. Perfect timing.

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