eHarmony Has Video Posts?

Happy Friday!! Wow, I haven’t updated in a while. Oops. I’ve been busy writing a bunch of movie reviews and obsessing over why my nails are messed up.

In an effort to get my mind of why my nails have suddenly become softer than pudding and weaker than….than….I dunno what, I’ve been replaying this video over and over and laughing my ass off.

WHY, OH WHY, DID eHARMONY NOT HAVE THIS OPTION WHEN I WAS ON eHARMONY???!!! Yes, I was on eHarmony. No, that’s not how Clyde found me.

Can you imagine all the stupid shit I would’ve said and done??!! Oh my God, it would’ve been so awesome. Wait, I can do all that crap now on YouTube. Hm….tempting, but not as tempting as doing it on eHarmony.

Here’s why. eHarmony is the place where people go to find someone they can be serious with, right? In case you don’t know, let me break it down for you :

Match.com

You’re looking to hook up. That is all. Come on. Wasn’t their whole tagline “It’s ok to look”? That doesn’t sound like “I want to meet my true love”.

Hooking up isn’t my thing. I personally don’t get it but if that’s your thing, then that’s your thing.

Yahoo.com

Pretty much the same thing as match.com. I think of it as a way for people to troll the net for a hook up.

For all you people out there who have found meaningful relationships on either site, don’t get your panties in a bunch.

eHarmony.com

Anybody who sits through that grueling personality test / algorithm thing is someone who is genuinely committed to finding someone who might be compatible with them.

I know. I sat through that thing. Holy crap, it was LOOOONNNGGGGGG. After a while, my eyes started to cross and I couldn’t figure out if I had already answered the question I’m staring at because they all started to look the same.

I’ve looked at a million bazillion profiles and here’s what I noticed. Everyone puts their best foot forward (I’m not saying I didn’t so don’t think I’m coming at you from a holier-than-thou stand. I’m not). They’re magically 2 inches taller (I put 5’7 because I am 5’7) and 10-20 pounds lighter (yup, guilty!!!). I’m sure more than a handful of people inflated their income also. Either that or they used the gross income amount.

Everyone wants to think someone out there will like them and so you rig the deck a bit in your favor. I can understand that but man….I’ve met people who just outright LIED. I’ll tell this story another day.

Anyway, so back to this video. I have to give it to this girl because she was completely honest even if she will now forever be known as the Crazier-Than-Bat-Shit-About-Cats Girl On eHarmony. If I was still on eHarmony and I had the option of doing a video message thing, I would’ve turned it into the All About Bonnie channel complete with dragging my friend and bridesmaid, Margaretto, in front of the camera and doing our Future-Ex-Boyfriend dance to the song “Milkshake” by Kelis.

We have no shame. That would’ve so rocked! I’ve no idea how many more dates that would’ve gotten me but I know for sure my profile wouldn’t have been boring.

And isn’t that kind of the whole point? Don’t you want your personality to shine through like the true unique snowflake you are among the masses? My profile probably doesn’t exist anymore on eHarmony but I do know that I had written some quirky things on there. I figured all those who dared to contact me should know I’m a little wacky from the get go, you know? πŸ˜€

Needless to say, none of those turned into romantic relationships but eHarmony definitely brought something special into my life – a bunch of really bad first dates that make for great stories to tell and a few people I loosely stay in touch with.

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