Bachelorette Party In Vegas


Who Da Funk :: Shiny Disco Balls

This has always been the song I think of whenever I’m about to go to Vegas. I don’t know why. Wait, maybe it has something to do with the lyrics. Let’s take a look.

Drugs

No, thanks…unless, if by “drugs”, you mean the aspirin I’ll be popping while desperately trying to stave off a hangover, then YES PLEASE!! Otherwise, no thanks.

I don’t understand why people do drugs. I really don’t. If they know what that shit does to them when they REALLY need pain meds, then I’m pretty sure most of them would *hopefully* think twice about snorting/smoking/shooting up.

I don’t need random mixtures of household cleaners to make me feel ecstasy. I also don’t relish the idea of frothing at the mouth like a rabid bitch. No, thank you.

I like my nose the way it is so I don’t want to mess it up with cocaine.

I like the way my skin looks (free of track marks) and would like it to stay that way.

Hm….so, in other words, I’m too vain to do drugs. HAA HAA HAA!!!!

Rock and Roll

CHECK!!!! Going to see a bunch of men strip down to their skivvies is just as much of a tradition as boys going to ogle a bunch of boobies. The only difference? The women go crazier. No joke.

Bad Ass Vegas Hoes

I don’t know about the “hoes” part but where the hell else am I supposed to wear my killer CFM stilettos and leopard print dress with the lace inserts??

Just sayin’. Besides, in case you haven’t seen the music videos on YouTube (I’d say MTV but Music TeleVision no longer plays videos, just a lot of really stupid “reality” shows), everyone dresses like a hoe now. What I’ll be wearing will be considered tame in all 50 states. πŸ˜€

Late Night Booty Calls

Yeah….there will be none of this going on unless your name is Room Service and you’ve come to bring me and my girlfriends the greasy pizza our drunk asses will be demanding at 4 in the morning. By “greasy pizza”, I mean just that. It’s not a code word for some naughty munkey bizness, people.

Shiny Disco Balls

I opted not to do the whole clubbing thing for the following reasons :

  • I do not want to make my beloved girls pay $$$ for f***ing bottle service in a crowded club
  • I do not feel like doing my best impersonation of a sardine while trying to dance
  • I do not feel like shoving people away from me because they violated my personal space
  • I do not feel like being like a stripper pole being molested by a bunch of drunk boys
  • I do not feel like dancing with people I don’t know
  • I do not feel like turning into BONNIE SMASH at the club

Therefore, I have opted for a chill lounge/bar in a top secret location where it will be SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper for bottle service and where I am being given a bottle of bubbly because I am the bachelorette.

NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT!! I love champagne. I love free champagne.

Know what else will be shiny? The bones catching the glint from the cage lights as I toss them. Say it with me now. HARD SIX!! HARD EIGHT!! GIVE IT TO ME THE HARD WAY!!!! BONNIE NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES FOR HER WEDDING, BITCHES!!!!!


Indeed indeed….
Now to make sure it stays this way.

I gotta make a rule for the girls. No pictures. The goal is to being able to remember all most of the weekend, not throw up in planters, not throw up on people, not throw up.

I also don’t want this weekend to be like Katy Perry’s song “Last Friday Night”.

Time to pack!

Vegas, here I come.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Bachelorette Party In Vegas”
  1. linh says:

    hope you had a blast in vegas!

    now that it’s been done, would it be possible for you to tell me where this lounge is? i’m going to vegas next weekend for my bday and would like to stay away from the clubs and save my friends money, too. thanks in advance!

    • Miss Bonnified says:

      Hi, girl! Sorry about responding so late! I hope I caught you in time! Happy birthday!!!!

      Okay, so we went to V Bar in the Venetian. It was cute, the music was good and the drinks are way affordable. If you like, I can give you the name and number of the contact who took care of our table. I chose V Bar because it’s cute, I love the Venetian and also because the feel is more chill. If you read the reviews on Yelp, a lot of people bag on it and say only the rejects from the other clubs go there.

      My response to THAT is….WHO THE F*CK CARES?! Unless you are the kind of person who goes somewhere because you want to be seen at certain places, then yes, by all means, go to the hottest clubs where you can pay out the nose for overpriced liquor and feel like a sardine on the dance floor.

      If you just want to have a good time, hit the spots like V Bar. πŸ™‚

      You can also check out Caramel….I forgot where that is.

      Hope this helps!!! Let me know if you want the info. πŸ™‚ HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

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