My Mom Is A P.I.M.P.

So in the last post, I talked about what’s going on. Yes, I’m updating from my phone. This is so I don’t forget. I’m going outside to smoke cause there’s some things my mom should never see. Me at a club is one. Me smoking is another. She tells me to walk on thw walkway … Continue reading

My Mom, The Part Time Pimpstress

So my mom decides that she wants All You Can Eat Korean BBQ. Dude, I’m down so I’m like “let’s go”. Halfway to Ktown, she says “um…Bonnie….I’m not really that hungry…” What?! So now I’m trying to figure out how hungry she is. We decided to scrap the AYCE BBQ plan in lieu of winging … Continue reading

My Mommy Told Me Not To Talk To Strangers

My mom gave me a lot of good advice when I was little. Actually, it was more like a list of Don’t. As in : Don’t talk with your mouth full. Don’t run around while carrying something sharp. Don’t be such a tomboy. Don’t beat up the boys during recess. Another one on her list … Continue reading

My Mom’s Kung Fu Fighting In A Buddhist Temple

Yeah….this is the song I have in mind whenever I think of this story about my mom. It’s fantastic. MY MOM WAS KUUUUNG FU FIIIGGGHHTTTING!!! HAAAH!! WU CHOP! Sort of. So I wrote about how my mom thinks I need divine intervention in terms of relationship help. Well, now on to Part Two of the … Continue reading

My Mom Thinks I Need Help

My mom is hilarious. I think she temporarily gave up on getting me to give her a grand baby via the unconventional way. As in, she’s given up trying to talk me into being a single mother by storming and pillaging the sperm banks. Perhaps OctoMom kind of put things in perspective for her. God, … Continue reading