Adventures In Wedding Planning : When Two Become 1

I’ve given a lot of thought to wedding traditions and realized I don’t know if I want to follow a whole lot of them. I already decided I don’t want to have the Wedding March play at any time during the wedding.

Hm…why do I keep thinking that this could get super messy if it’s windy?

I also don’t think I want to do the Unity Sand Ceremony. I like Etch-A-Sketch. I’m not sure what the weather is like in the desert but if it happens to be windy that day, then I’m pretty sure it’ll suck when colored sand is tossed on everyone instead of going into the pretty container. For that reason, I’m most likely going to pass on this one too.

Setting stuff on fire in the desert probably equals big no-no.

I don’t think I want to do the Unity Candle either. I don’t think the venue would let us (we’re getting married in the desert so anything that would set fire to anything is probably frowned upon).

So that’s out. I’m not sure what else is supposed to be traditional so I decided to look it up. World Wedding Traditions dot com says the following :

To begin with, U.S. wedding ceremonies may be either religious or civil. Most brides prefer a large and rather elaborate ceremony if it is their first wedding

Yeah, not going the religious route. I guess that makes our civil? I dunno.

We’re also not going to have a large and elaborate ceremony. Hell no. We’re all about KISS – Keep It Simple, Sweetie. I do not want to fall asleep while standing around in my awesome dress and shoes. I also do not want to have a sunburn by the time I finally say “I do”.

Old wedding traditions may have held that a prospective groom had to ask the bride’s father for his blessing, but that tradition is seldom respected any longer, if it was ever respected to a wide degree in the U.S.

This is actually something I do like. My dad’s not here stateside so it was hard for Clyde to ask. Actually, he proposed first, I said yes, we had an awesome dinner and then got home to call my Dad in Asia. And then he asked Big Auntie for permission because my dad said she’s the oldest one here in the States. It all worked out. It was awesome.

What, exactly, in this photo screams “I LOVE BEING HIT WITH RICE!!!”?
Where does it look like they’re having fun at this exact moment in time?
Call me crazy but this does not look fun nor enjoyable.

Traditionally the bride wears a while wedding dress and white wedding veil.


The traditional ceremony itself is often conducted by a religious leader known to the bride and/or the groom.

Clyde’s friend can’t do it. Therefore, I am working on my best friend. He’s not a religious leader nor is he religious so he’s perfect.

We really want someone close to one of us to marry us. This is a special day and I can’t think of a better way to get married than someone who loves us to pronounce us husband and wife. I’m not Christian so I didn’t grow up in a church type setting. I grew up Buddhist and am still Buddhist. I always wanted a Buddhist monk to marry me but I don’t think that would sit too well with Clyde’s very conservative and Christian family.

Therefore, non-religious it is.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, it is traditional for the official to ask if anyone present knows of any just cause why this man and this woman may not be legally married.

Nope. Don’t want.

Traditionally the newlyweds kiss to seal their union.

I plan doing a lot of this. Ahahaha!

As the couple leave the church they are often showered with rice or wheat (symbols of fertility) and the couple is then taken to a home, restaurant or other facility where a wedding reception takes place.

Hm…I dunno about being pelted with stuff that I consider food. Let’s take a closer look at an example.

Have you ever seen a picture in which the newlyweds look HAPPY when people are blasting them with rice? They always look like they’re ducking for cover because they’re under attack.

I’m no physicist but I would think that once rice reaches a specific velocity combined with its innate hardness pre-cooking, those little missiles are gonna sting like a sonavabitch when it hits.

Does no one else also think this is a grievous waste of food? Or am I just weird?
I also do not want to be shaking out random bits of rice caught in my dress, undergarments, etc all night long. That would suck, I’d be uncomfortable and I would be cranky.

Maybe we’ll do bubbles? Bubbles are pretty and I don’t have to worry about birds exploding from eating the tossed rice / wheat.

There is no way you can convince me this isn’t pretty.
There is also no way you’re gonna convince me that rice flying almost faster than the speed of light is gonna look better than this.

So how are we going to show that we are two people who still have their own identity but are now also one being? I think I know….but I’m going to keep that a secret for now. Muahaha!! I will say that it’s gonna rock. I’m pretty sure Clyde will go for it ( *cross fingers * ) and it’s more representative of us than candles and sand.

Here’s hoping he’ll agree. 🙂

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